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Chris Simms Guarantees a Steelers Win
Alas, a guarantee from Chris Simms could be the kiss of death. 80% of his picks last week were wrong.On the other hand, the only one he got right was Steelers – 49ers, so there’s that.
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2015 Season Predictions
Well now that the travesty that was the preseason is behind us, the time is upon us to fulfill the seminal purpose of Steel Balls, which is to predict the results of the new season.
Those seeking bragging rights must submit entries in the comment section below. You must predict at least the overall record of the Steelers and for tiebreakers, the records and finishing positions of the other AFCN teams.
As always, the winner will be chosen by your humble but benevolent dictator at his sole discretion.
Good luck!
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Jarvis Poll Results
[poll=47]
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Searching for a Credible Backup QB…
Hopefully someone better than Grad + Landry will become available from a training camp cut by the August 25 or September 4 cut down dates. Here is the current depth chart across the NFL.
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Mysterious structure on Pluto hints at extent of Steeler Nation

Speaking of New Horizons… The fact that Pluto is the furthest known outpost of Steelers Nation solidifies the argument that Pluto should be considered a planet once again. Although it’s small, Pluto has more planetary character than Mercury. Pluto has interesting structure with a surface littered with frozen gases and mountains of ice, and even has a thin atmosphere. It also has five moons. Mercury is a burnt cinder with nothing interesting at all with no atmosphere, much like downtown Baltimore. It’s basically a big space rock. Pluto’s orbit is eccentric, but that shouldn’t be an issue. The word planet means “wandering body”. A planet could be free floating in space without orbiting a star and it would still be considered a planet, so the orbit should not matter. The argument that a planet should have cleared its “neighborhood” of competing rocks is also arbitrary. All of the inner planets, including Earth, had their neighborhoods cleared thanks to the Sun and Jupiter which is cheating like a Patriot. Poor Pluto has been doing that job all on its own, with maybe an occasional assist from Neptune. I say if you are spherical, have at least some atmosphere and diverse surface features, you ought to be a planet. If you need to kick one to the curb, it should be that chunk of charcoal Mercury.
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